YOU GOT A FRIEND HERE BABE!!! I LOVE new friends!!!!

Most/ALL of my life was a lie with my Mom and I didn't even see it until the last few years ( I am 31 ). My Father died when I was 15 (very long story there) He was very sick and we kept him at home for everything. So, at a young age I got to see the world from a Adult's Eyes. She never got me any help to deal with his death. My mother turned to me like a woman not a child and told me about everything that was going on with him. After she died she smothered me, even into my marriage and continued to lie about everything. Now, I have no memories about Elementary, Jr High or even High school.

Now, here I am 31 trying to go back to college (2nd semester) found out I have Adult ADD. (I have had it all my life but with my father being so sick no one seen it, they all just thought it was what I had going on with my homelife was so hard.) My mother always told me I was a bright student in Elementary school until last week when I found my report cards and they all led to ADD ( I wasn't so bright after all.. another lie)

Now at 31, I don't know who I am, what I have been lied to about (cant remember), I DON'T fit in with anyone at the college I am going to (I was hoping to meet friends just isn't happing), and I WONT tell the friends I have about this.

I should add.. I moved this summer from Illinois to Oregon for my husbands Job with both of our kids. We were just looking for a bright "new" start... "yeah, right!!!!"

But what it has turned out to be for me is.... New state = New friends hard to meet = don't know what the hell I am doing! Depression!!!! (but I don't want to move back!)

Don't feel alone.. It is very hard to piece your life together when you are so damn depressed about it! My T suggested a book The Feeling Good Handbook By David Burns M.D. I haven't started it because I am still trying to read another book about my ADD.

I have found more support here.. than anywhere else!!!

Stay, sit, have a cup of coffee.. chat a while!!!

Kathy