Hospitals used to trigger me for a long time because my dad was so sick growing up. Ambulances and police used to trigger me as well since they were at our house so much. Hospitals will always trigger me because now I have memories of my husband being in the ER drug seeking, except I didn't know that's what it was at the time. I just remember him being in horrible pain (I thought) and not being able to help him.

So I understand your pain. I also used to dissociate a lot when I was a teenager. Never completely blank but a distinct feeling of being removed and then not remembering any detail of what went on, just general ideas.

I hope you will find peace soon.