I had unbearable things get activated and it would be unbearable -- well, just like the last one. And I would get through it, process it, and then that one would be integrated, I guess. But then the next one would happen and I would be a wreck and it would be unbearable until it, too was passed.

It sounds like you're dealing with a very basic, deep struggle. And yes your T is your T and you can't change his schedule. AND you are overwhelmed by the anger and attachment/longing. And it just sucks, like a hurricane until it's over. Which it will be whenever it is.