Hello. Welcome to PC. Do you have an appointment with a therapist or a psychiatrist? A psychiatrist is usually the one who prescribes medication. I'm sorry you're having a tough time. I'm glad you're getting some help. Have you tried Celexa before? It may be your best bet. My concern for you is that you've overdone it on the Vyvanse before to the point of buying it from your friends. Is it a road you really want to go down? Can you take it as prescribed? I don't know anything about this drug so I don't know how likely your doctor is to prescribe it but it worth a try requesting it. Sending big hugs.