> I dunno. Just feel fed up sometimes.
> I don't want him to be inadequate
> But sometimes he does seem...
> Bumbling
> Oblivious
> A little bit stupid.
> Or something.

I too am having to deal with a T who sometimes really seems (to me) not to know "wha's happenin'". I think he really does not. It is frightening to think that I am right, and that he does not. Why is it so frightening? Does he, like so many people, really not want to know? And if that is true, should I be frightened by that?

An example of one thing he does is: almost whenever I say something that he regards as "wrong," he tries to "correct" me. He cannot let it go, even temporarily. Here's a thing that prompts this kind of behavior by my T: when I make it plain how frightened I am of people in general. He seems to need to tell me that I have no need to be frightened. Am I then supposed not to be on my guard with anyone?

It appears to me that both my therapist and I am frightening each other by our fears!

I guess what he does is not necessarily, by itself, frightening. Maybe I am picking up a broadcast of fear and denial ("I don't want to know about it.") on his part, maybe I am just reacting to those in my past who did not want to know what was happening to me. And even if he is broadcasting such a thing, should that frighten me? Am I not separate from him? If he is afraid, why should that make me afraid? In fact it does; what he does and says makes me confused and I only later realize (I think) what has happened. He appears to be broadcasting a cloud of "right thinking" like a squid with a squirt of black "ink," in order to not get "punished" by those he sees as being "in control" -- the "big people." And he sees me as one of them.

And I get taken in by his actions. In fact he is broadcasting the cloud in order to confuse me (whom he sees as a threat) but since he can mostly only alter his own thinking, he also gets confused. He does not see himself doing that. That leaves both of us confused.

This reminds me of something that happened to me quite a few years ago. I was walking in a parklike area near where I lived, and a blue jay started squawking at me. It occurred to me how ineffective the blue jay's attempts at defense really were. What could a small bird do to a threatening predator of my size just by its small voice? Not much, really, if I, the predator, realized how small the bird really was. Its actions served more to address its emotional needs than to rectify the actual situation (if I had been a real threat).

I think I must have almost totally confused anyone reading this thread. Writing my thoughts down really helps me a lot!