I think I did have friends before but to be honest I don't really know if they were actually friends. I know before my move 15 years ago I had friends. Lots of friends. But that's been quite some time ago. People just aren't the same. I know I have changed, I know I'm not the same person. In fact I am the opposite of that person. I find it hard to believe that I was that person. Physically. Mentally. Emotionallty, in every way. She's gone.