Fellow only child and abuse survivor here. I could have written almost every word of this post! The attachment thing, it's so, SO hard. My two cents--I don't think a good therapist should want to replace your parents or foster an unhealthy sense of attachment. After three months I'm quite fond of my therapist and I finally fully trust him--but realistically I'm probably not attached to anyone (including my husband of 12 years) in a totally healthy secure way. It's something I want to work on in therapy, getting over my own trust issues and learning those healthy attachment skills. I view therapy as a collaborative partnership, to have someone to walk this path together.

Anyhow, I don't have a lot of great advice here, just loads and loads of empathy--I completely get where you're coming from! I understood from a young age my physically and verbally abusive parents were not to be trusted and learned the only person I can rely on is myself. It's a challenge to me in my marriage (I wonder sometimes why I am even married at all and how I manage to have a decent marriage), and it is a barrier to forming friendships. Hugs and support to you, my dear! This is such a tough issue.