You grew up learning not to attach to people as a defense machanism to protect yourself from getting hurt by ones close to you. It was something you've learned from what had happened to you when you were young. I also grew up under those circumstances, and told myself that I shouldn't be ashamed of what I've adapted as a child due to the type of parents I have. We need to give more credit to ourselves for the way we turned out. It was to protect ourselves from harm.