Did you talk to your Pdoc about the medications and are you taking them as prescribed? Do you live with this "him"? Is it "him" personally haunting you or a traumatic memory of "him" You don't have to give details. Just trying to understand what's going on with you. I care about you and want you to be okay. I would be devastated if something happened to you. We've talked so much you are like PC family to me. Do you realize how close we are to some people here that we don't even know? How comfortable you feel with some members, like you have been friends for a long time? I mean we don't know if they are male or female(and it doesn't matter) , what age group they are in (again, it doesn't matter), or specifically what trauma(s) people are dealing with. But still there's this connection. It's a strange but wonderful thing that the internet, and PC, can bring people together like that. I would hate to think where we would be without this benefit.