Thank you everyone for the support. It is nice to hear that I am not alone and not a freak. I am lucky to have such a kind and understanding T. He tried to normalize my twisted thinking but it is so hard for me to accept plus they are ways that I want to change and don't want to be my norm even if they are normal for people like me. I guess we are all different. We either shun attachment or cling to it. I am sure there are people with healthy attachment feelings as well. I appreciate everyone's comments.