I hate myself.
I hate everything about me.
I hate the way I look.
I hate the ugly anatomy of my face.
I hate my severely damaged, disgusting looking skin full of acne and scars.
I hate my thinning hair.
I hate my fat clumsy unfit disgusting body.
I hate the ridiculous sound of my voice.
I hate the way I behave which is absolutely ridiculous and weird and humiliating.
I hate my incapability of doing absolutely anything.
Everything I say or do, I regret right afterward because it is so ridiculous and weird and disgusting.
The only hope that remains to my life lies in the hope that I could change and become an entirely different person. That I could fully erase my former self and become a new, different, finally worthful, tenable and acceptable person.
I passionately enjoy imagining how I finally am this new worthful self and confront my disgusting pitiful former self and then smash its ugly face and disgusting body until it is fully destroyed beyond recognition.

I can only keep on living if I become a different person.