so as I previously mentioned i was on top of the world high functioning in stability and ready to put the BP thing behind me for good. Symptoms started coming back and all sign pointed toward manic. However I headed that way and instead things went mixed.
It is crazy how you can see the world in a beautiful blue and then within weeks everything you see around you is dark and tormented. I loss my social aptitude , my excitement and control. I feel tormented , the kind of mental anguish that you physically feel biting you inside.
I have been knocking myself out to sleep as much as possible to escape the pain but I wake up the same.
Just needed to get this out. Thx for listening
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I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning, I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own
I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing
Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!
One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand
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