Hi I decided to join this community for support with an issue I guess I have been repressing for years. I don't know where to begin but if I am going to be completely honest with myself I have struggled with my gender identity and sexuality for as long as I can remember. To make a long story short I guess I am pretty messed up. I am an only child and have held this as a stigma my whole life. My mother wanted to have a girl but I was assigned male at birth. Growing up I was timid and shy and at times I guess I have been slightly in touch with my feminine side. I was bullied a lot at school I guess for being timid. My first sexual experiences were with males unfortunately; one was a baby sitter when I was six or seven and the second was when I played doctor when I was ten with someone I thought was my best friend. During this second incident (doctor) my friend made me play a female which really messed with my head. I always liked females and was attracted to them but was scared or intimidated by them, I didn't loose my virginity until I was 19 but that was the best day of my life because I actually felt like I was a guy. I was married and have children that I love very much. Got divorced and then all those repressed feelings from my childhood hit me; I was lonely depressed and in need of validation and intimacy. I was never an online person but I guess in my loneliness I started chatting online and noticed I was getting more male responses then female....what is wrong with me? Is this even normal or acceptable?