Lost Lover,
I feel your pain and can relate with what you are saying. My concern for you, and for others like us, is the need to isolate keeps us alone in our miserable mind. We are alone with no other perspective but what our depression tells us. While it is hard, exhausting to live with others, engagement with them forces us out of our head, sometimes long enough to snap us back into awareness of life outside our head.

When I lost my job and my insurance I suffered a year without medication before I finally reached out to our county mental health services. I qualified for free services and free medication.