I decided I would tell t about drinking before the last appointment in person at today's appointment. I had been stressing about it all week and had a few sleepless nights. I waa bee nervous when I sat down and we did a quick check in. Part of my stress is that I know she doesn't specialize in addiction. She doesn't feel I have an addiction just a bad coping skill. That has the potential to become an addiction. So we are working on it. If she felt it became an addiction she would have to refer me to somebody else. Anway, so O told her it happened she asked what had been going on at that time. I explained what had me so stressed out. She told me O couldn't drink before an appointment then she wants me to cancel. She said there is no therapeutic benefit if I had been drinking. I told I knee that and realized that as soon as I took that drink. She told me years ago she found out a client had been drinking before every appointment and she had to refer her to somebody else. Then we moved on to something else. Later I mentioned being surprised ahe didn't know something was off. It aeemed like it should have been obvious. She said if I was intoxicated ahe would but because I wasn't intoxicated and my expressions, body language van be so different based on my mood it would be hard to tell.