I am so sorry that you are feeling this. You are definitely not alone. For me, it has a lot to do with whether I am manic, hypomanic, stable, or depressed. I was a bartender for seven years. I am very sociable, outgoing, opinionated, and confident, until I'm not.

When the depression hits, it hits! I have no confidence, intense and constant anxiety, extreme self-doubt, and crippling fatigue. It feels like it will never end. I'm anxious or don't care about my job. I don't want to talk to or face anyone. I can't focus, and there are times that there is no way I can even fake it. This is coming from a bartender and a sales rep. My phases tend to be cyclical, so I now track where I am at to get a better sense of when it will shift.

Do you have someone there like a boss you trust, or an HR Department that you can talk to? I know disclosing bipolar, or any mental illness, in a professional setting can feel risky for some.