alex, it sounds like your T is just not an "email guy," and you are going through a lot of angst continually wishing he was and trying to make him into something he is not. Everyone has limitations, even our T's, and they have different approaches. Your guy does not do email therapy, for whatever reasons he may have: just is not into this techie stuff, thinks it discourages clients from opening up in person, takes too much of his time outside of session, is worried about privacy concerns, etc. Who knows. He does face-to-face therapy. Can you take advantage of what he does offer instead of trying to change him and being frustrated when he does not send you the "perfect" email response?

My T definitely has his preferred modes of communication. He is not a "phone guy." I have learned not to call him because he does not respond at all or soon enough or whatever. It is just not "him." I also know that if he tells me in session that he will phone me later about something that he will not, so I don't get disappointed when he doesn't. But he is good face to face and very sweet and supportive when he responds to my infrequent, brief and to the point emails.

It is interesting that you say your face to face self is different than your email self. Can you try to lessen this dissonance and just be the "real alex_k" no matter what form of communication you are using? My T often talks of being authentic, bringing our outer self that we project to the world in synch with who we know ourselves to be "inside." Maybe your email dilemma is a little like that. Can you just be alex_k no matter if it is by email, phone, or in person? Then you won't feel such a loss at not being responded to by email, because you can address the same concerns in person.