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Old Dec 30, 2007, 04:01 PM
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Shellbe Shellbe is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2007
Posts: 31
a T I used to see did that with me, was unclear about emails and never responded. I played head games with myself and always, always, felt hurt and abandonned......shame, anger, and alone

with the T i am seeing now, I flat out asked her. "Can I email you some of my poetry or thoughts every now and then??" and we talked about it openlly. I said to her, "Just don't think I understand why you are doing this or that. Just keep me informed about why you didn't answer the email or tell me why you are setting this limit." It saves a huge amount of struggle in my mind and i feel like i'm not guessing at her motives. We even talked about what to do if she felt she was being emailed too much by me....I said, "Just talk to me. Tell me why and what you're thinking."
in the past 4 months i guess that i've seen her, i've emailed twice and we always talk about it in the next session. One of the things that helped me the most was to explain that I cannot handle any more mind games. Just tel me your motive and I will also explain mine. Just please don't leave me guessing. It justs adds more to the original problem i am seeking help for.

However, you can view it as some kind of self-protection and protection of you in a way from your T's point of view. Nothing is secure on the internet and some patients that are really troubled could turn around and use this against a T as far as confidentiality goes.....

It helps me the most to just put it out there. No more mind games. Just tell me what you are doing and why...and God willing, I will try my best to do the same.