Microsecession! Been on the phone with the State Department all day. I established an independent sovereign state, declared war on America, fired a stone into Wa'ahila Gulch with a wrist rocket, then surrendered and demanded $16 million in foreign aid. My State liaison sent the aid by bank wire transfer, and they dispatched a platoon of Marines from MCBH to plunder our natural resources. Hopefully the aid gets here before the Marines. New Kyoto encompasses a mere 0.06 hectares and has a population of 3, but we will serve as an offshore banking hub for Japanese organized crime. They like gold. I'm working on an application for a seat in the UN. Elections are next week.

Obviously still smoking big ol' doinks in the Amish.