I agree with this. Talk about how you're feeling and ask your T why he allows outside contact and what is going on when he doesn't respond. My T allows me to call her when I need to, and she said that she thinks it's important for me to learn to turn to people for support and believe that I'm worth their help. She also says that she wants to be there for me. (We have had this conversation like a million times lol.) Sometimes it takes her several hours to call back after I leave a message, and in the meantime I usually start to feel worried and assume she's annoyed with me. But then her reason for taking a while is always perfectly reasonable and has nothing to do with me. I can see where that experience of her not being perfectly responsive but still caring mirrors other relationships and will help me trust more without assuming I'm being a bother.

That said, I don't think every T works that way, so you should talk about how you're feeling and ask what your T is thinking. I have gone through periods of feeling obsessive about my T, but that is going away as I start to get better. I think outside contact has been really important to my therapy, and my T has been really clear that it's okay to ask for and that we will discuss boundary issues when/if they come up.