I can't seem to finish anything when I'm not stable and I'm never stable long enough to finish everything. I might get one room of the house cleaned or all the laundry done then I lose it again.

I have started so many things that my house is filled with projects and even though I am up right now I dont have any interest in working on them again. I demolished our main bathroom over a year ago and we have had to go down to the basement any time we need the washroom ever since! I'm guessing that might have been some hypomania because I also was doing demo in the basement, installing a sump pump, removing a chimney, planning a kitchen reno and replacing all the water lines in the house(myself) and buying stuff for every other room which is all collecting dust now. And yes then I crashed into a bad depression which is the first time I decided to truly try to get "help" for "depression". (Insert lots of sarcasm lol)

Every time I go up I seem to have a different focus. One time was all the renos then the next was cleaning like superwoman even though I normally despise cleaning and this time its like I just want to have fun. I don't want to clean or fix or cook or do anything useful. I just want to play my keyboard, walk, run, dance, enjoy other "pleasurable activities" and pick up litter and donate to the food bank!

So I feel like I'm stuck in this cycle where I feel good and like I can do everything better than everyone else so I dont want to hire anyone but I dont really want to do it myself either. Then I feel horrible and cant work up enough courage to even try to call someone to get help and get it done even though at that point I know I'm a useless human who will never finish anything.

My house is torn apart(literally) the floors are covered in laundry and other junk. The sink and counters are filled with dishes and none of it bothers me! I really don't care but I know my husband does care and it's probably at least a little stressful for the kids too. I want to care about how they feel but I have no idea how to make all of this stuff happen. Does anyone have some tips on how to finish things??? Or at least make a tiny bit of progress?