Getting high will only postpone the inevitable feelings. I know for me alcohol and drugs kept me sick and in denial for a long time. I was told I had this and that mental illness and played the game for a long time. I was really just an alcoholic with an alcoholic personality and an alcoholic mind. I wanted people to feel sorry for me and i went to the hospital alot. Maybe prayer would help you. Or AA. Hanging out with sober people keeps me sober and drug free.