For a while thinking about my T took up the mental space and energy that would otherwise be taken up with dark, self-critical thoughts. I felt bad and weird about it until I talked to her about it and realized she didn't think it was creepy. I like the way she makes me feel, and at times I have focused on the idea of her as a way to keep those feelings alive outside of session. I'm not in love with her, although I do see her as a mother figure. I'm not dependent on her to solve my problems, but I do depend on the connection sometimes.