Hi Eddie..... not to belittle your dilema because as you know I've been following your searching but perhaps the words coming to you are suggesting you rest in what you know for a while. Set aside the questions and the hypocrocies that have you doubtful and fearful. Set them aside and be in the knowledge you have.

Try going through the next few days asking yourself 'What would Jesus do?' Determine your actions, your thoughts, your pre-occupations after what you think Jesus would do in each moment of your time.

I've done this on ocassion. Specially when feeling separated from the gift of salvation and forgiveness. How would Jesus respond. What would he do, say, think about my situation if he were walking in my shoes. We talk alot about walking in Jesus' footsteps. Put Jesus in your shoes and walk his footsteps in your own shoes.

After a day or two of that its very clear where you stand in the kingdom of heaven and not only that but, you've lived a wonderful blessing of communion.

Walk in Beauty.....