I struggle with this quite a lot.

what are my thoughts, and what's the illness?

I think for me, 1 thing that helps is trying to step back... trying to think well hang on a moment, what's happened so far in this situation, and would I, want this to actually happen. do I have this thought out. do I have the strength to do this?
also, how much attention i'm actually paying to the situation at hand

is it a fleating, quick thought?

or is it staying their. is it longterm, am I taking it seriously?

when you are irritable, how do you tend to show it?. do you show it through actions, or do you show it through another way, such as distruction