yesterday evening I really wanted to hurt myself.

I had gone through so many emotions in the space of a few hours- laughing, calm, crying, anxious, everything you could think of.. and it all just got on top of me and I wanted to hurt myself so bad.

I actually just sat their with the only thing in my mind.. cut, cut, cut, cut

fortunately, I didn't, I found a distraction- but it was a tough night, made worse by the crippling imsomnia which isn't letting up.

I don't know how I feel at the moment.. laughing and joking 1 minit, crying and anxious the next