MC session was basic intro session. Bringing him up to date about some of the stuff happening in our lives since my .. well basically nervous breakdown, the events leading to that breakdown, and all the changes in me since then (weight loss/fitness, gender, therapy).

He said it was clear that we were not on the same page in terms of our communication.

He was ok, I think he'll work fine for us. We see him again next Friday... and then might not be for a while depending on my surgeries. He's going to be out for 2 weeks.

Oh, how poorly I took T's vacation came up.. I was so embarrassed to say that I had separation anxiety around that. I had already told him about the type of therapy, that I was going 2x a week, doing deeper stuff, attachment stuff. He seemed to understand and didn't comment on my admission. Still, I couldn't look at him during this time period, I was so ashamed(?) humiliated(?)... it is hard to... I don't know.. just wasn't good for me. I was able to move past that moment and feeling to reengage in the conversation. That was good.