Oh Dear Rose,
I am sorry you are going through this. It does sound so very stressful.
I am glad your son is safe for now and hope he stays inpatient longer and gets more help/stabilized.
I agree this is too much stress. Maybe you will have to tell his pdoc/therapist he cannot come home? Maybe your suggestion about a group home will help others to look into this option with him?
I feel deep compassion for both of you; yet, agree with you totally!
You need a break!
Please keep reaching out for support.

WC