I'm sorry to hear you feel this way. It's rough when you don't trust yourself. I have been there also. I heard a piece of advice one time that I carry with me still. I think it was in a Martha Beck book or a video. She said to take stock of the things you know are true. And even when I didn't know anything and I didn't trust my own judgement or my own feelings, I knew for sure that I loved my dogs. And I concentrated a lot on the fact that I loved my dogs. It was like an anchor I suppose. It helped me.