R is male and I'm a girl.

Personally I find it easier to talk to men then women. I know I would feel more uncomfortable with a female. I've had a wild rebellious streak and did quite a few crazy things I'm not exactly proud of- like agreeing to be a friend with benefits, going out on a lot of tinder meet ups etc.

R has previously told me that I can easily seduce and charm people. Whilst I've never tried to flirt with him-I am guilty of flirting with almost every man that used to walk past me, whether I thought he was attractive or not, simply because I liked the attention I got.

Most of my abuse was from my father. I'm not the same as I was back then, but I would just feel more judged by a woman sharing all of that.