thank you for writing back.

i don't know what is supposed to be normal for me. i never really had a chance to figure it out. i didn't know what sex was the first time i was raped. i didn't know what was happening to me.

not just with sex stuff but i always try and think about how i'm supposed to be or what i would be like if that stuff never happened.

i think that if i didn't ever get hurt i wouldn't think about getting being hurt as something sexual i need though.