Thank you all for the support and encouragement. It's funny because I don't have a problem with being gay and being attracted to a therapist seperatley, but the combination just feels so shameful to me. If my T was a male, I feel like I'd be less judgemental of myself. Perhaps deep down, I feel so ashamed because I want all my needs met by her. Maybe, the fact I don't see her as an "equal" is why I find her so attractive. All of this is really painful and shameful for me to talk about, but thanks so much for listening/reading. It helps a bunch just to have a sounding board and hearing from others who've experienced similar things.