ok - so I totally blew it, and am starting over completely from scratch.

I binge ate ice cream and chips all summer, and put on all the weight I had lost. I may have even gained more, but I've been afraid to step on the scale.

I'm completely out of shape. I went on a road trip to an artsy community this summer with a friend, and I couldn't even walk 10 minutes without getting out of breath. I had wanted to take a vocational retraining class to become a cook, starting in January, but they say you have to be capable of being on your feet and physically active 6-8 hours a day. There's no way I could do that. And I don't think I can get there by January.

Worst of all, I relapsed on alcohol pretty badly, and am now on day 4 of sobriety, and feel really bad physically and emotionally.

So nowhere to go but up, right?

I've completely cut out the icecream, and am just going to finish the chips I have in the house, and then not buy more. Mon. I'm going to start writing down everything I eat and try to keep it to 1200 -1300 calories a day.

As for exercise, I can't decide if I want to do the bike or walk. At a minimum I'm going to dig out the Mayo Clinic walking plan, and try to start it on Mon.

I'm giving myself today and the weekend to recover from the drinking episode.

But I've restarted my Antabuse, and I contacted my addictions Dr. to see if I could do the IOP program again, as I think I need some structured support to build up some sober time again.

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