I like the email idea. I may tell my husband I want help thats usually easiest because he is here and can make sure I follow through. I know he would be happy, he wants me stable.

I'm just really afraid of depression. I'm more afraid of that than I am of getting arrested or hurt in any way, I just can't take any more of it. In my mind it is the absolute worst thing that could happen to me. But I also know that I am likely to crash and I'm at almost a month of this so crashing is becoming more of a realistic possibility in my mind.

Has anyone had meds added to help them come down to a more reasonable level without becoming a tired depressed lump again. Maybe if I can convince myself that I'm less likely to be depressed this route I will take it. My pdoc had mentioned possibly trying abilify as a mood stabilizer at our last appt. I think he mentioned some others but I can't remember. I assume he probably at least knew somewhat that I was pretty high then.