I had a long struggle if my gender identity is valid, or if it's just the mood shifts.

Some days I had bad disphoria, some days I was somewhat okay with the way it was. And then one day, after a big depression crash, I wondered if this performing of a gender that I don't belong to, is in fact a bad elevator for my mood shifts. Then again, what if my feeling were because if the mood shifts? Maybe I was just so disconnected from myself, maybe I just wanted to escape from myself?

But then I thought: hell, even if it's my bp, it's not less THERE. It's not like I'm not bipolar in 40 years

And I experienced so much gender euphoria since then. Transitioning was one of the best decisions of my live (I recently started HRT so who knows, but my transition started years ago).
Of course I still have my mood shifts but I feel a little bit more at peace with myself now.