(((Boogie))). The holidays are a very hard time for a lot of people for a variety of reasons. I agree with the others who recommend staying more in the present if possible. It's not always that easy but it could be helpful if you can manage it. I am sending out a great big wish for you right now Boogie.....that you find someone special to love who loves you back. Keep doing your best and you increase your odds by the day! (((Hugs)))