I had to give myself a lot of time one my own to heal this part of myself, before I was even able to open up to another touching me. Really, just now getting there. I would ask your T for some exercises that address this specific problem. You may want to take a look at "The Sexual Healing Journey" by Wendy Maltz, or some other book like that.

For me, I've had to deliberately develop a new view of my own body and establish a "relationship" with myself this way, for want of a better word. I know your problem and understand your pain and confusion. You are not alone with this, and please know that it can be addressed. You do not have to live isolated forever. You deserve to reach a point where you can accept and trust a loving touch. You can heal.

be well,

mtd