Yes, I do the banana thing every night before bed.

I suppose you are right about the fact that I should be gentle with myself. I have not even yet seen my therapist about all this thing that happened at work, although I have emailed her about it and we moved my appointment up so that I will be seeing her on Monday, 2 days from now. It was to be a week later than that, but this was the best she could do.

I guess what really worries me is that because of this bully and all he has done to me at work, and because of how I have reacted to his doing these things to me by telling others what he has done to me, I could lose my job. I fear that right now, more than anything else. It is not giving me anxiety really, more like just a deep seated pain in my chest and some heavy fear, that goes beyond anxiety, I think.

The other thing that is plaguing me is that I cannot get my mind off what this bully has done to me. My mind keeps going to it with some kind of outrage, like HOW CAN HE GET AWAY WITH THIS! This is so not ok. And he has turned a bunch of people against me....