I get some irrational fears that are worst during depression. Usually along the line of I'm going to lose my job, everybody hates me, my son is going to die, my pdoc is going to have my son taken away, I'm going to be put in the hospital against my will and be treated badly, etc. That was me during the episode I had a few months ago. It made it really hard for me to see pdoc or tell the truth or accept help.