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MentalFloss said:
Also, I am guilty of telling him how he should feel. I told him that I thought he should feel bad about this. I need to think about that.

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Just another word of caution here. Can't you tell I've been here and still frequently obsess about my own guilt?

It is great that you are able to see your own tendencies and flaws. About a month ago Sunrise recommended that I check out a book by Patricia Evans on Verbal Abuse. As I am reading this book I hear myself saying... "Damn this is exactly what he does all the time!" But in the very next thought is "...Crap I sometimes do this too! I a verbal abuser too!" These are honest statements. Unfortunately, what tends to happen with me is I focus on my own guilt and flaws, get upset with myself, and then start excusing and minimizing his behavior because some how I'm now a bad person and deserve to be treated poorly. This behavior doesn't solve anything and just makes me feel more like crap and allows him to continue being a jerk. Its the old saying two wrongs don't make a right.

My recommendation to you is..When you recognize that your personal anger and resentment have tainted your behavior, acknowledge it and attempt to make take action to repair the damage and prevent it from happening again. However also demand that he show you compassion, respect, empathy,... too. Insist that the new standards of communication are followed by everyone. I think as we practice them ourselves, we will feel more deserving of them ourselves. -- Now if I could only take my own advice :-)

If he is unwilling to give or treat you the way you would like to be treated, move on before the relationship gets more entangled.