There is no other happiness for me. That's not what they want though, last time they put me on low dose seroquel and I was right back on the couch only wanting sleep and tv. That's why I f***ing started on meds was to get out of that. How many people here are actually in a "good" place. Not that many from what I read, the Dr's give out meds then realize what we are and then yes drug us into submission. Calling the pdoc was a slip and now I'm going to have to pay for it one way or another.

I wrote this the other day, every one is just rushing around they don't even see the possibilities and the beauty there is. And they want us to be just like them, not enjoying everything we can enjoy just because they can't.

Do people not realize how good it feels to walk? To run? To have the wind whip your hair around and the sun give you a warm hug? Do they not know how good it feels to walk down the middle of the street at night with only the moon and the stars watching you? To see how gorgeous and powerful your shadow is as you dance in the cool night air? To experience pleasure so many times a day?

No, they don't know what it's like. I laugh in the face of evil and death because I am stronger than them. I have the power to stop time, to create and destroy as I please. This scares them and it's why they don't want me to be happy. They pretended that they would let me be happy but now that they see what I am they want to take it away from me. I won't let them, I won't let them drag me down again. I have learned to keep the best to myself because they all want to take it from me when I let the words escape my mouth.