I've felt up and down all day. The gym feels so good and safe. When I return to "home" I feel I have to be so guarded and like everyone is resentful of me going to the gym. I do get snide comments from Dad and my sister. Once the truck parts are in, I'm fixing it and rolling out. For where, I don't care, as long as there's a gym.
It doesn't help that I feel so lonely. My heart hurts more with every breath and I almost want to call my ex, but I know at the same time how terrible an idea that would be. I really just want to be held. Why aren't there safe places where strangers could just cuddle, then leave with no emotional attachment? That's all I honestly want, to be held, with no emotional attachment. I'd almost pay a hooker for it, probably would if I could afford to.