((((Ocdchick)))) That last night of which you speak is only one moment in the journey of life. In taking your troubles to the Lord in prayer, and asking forgiveness, you will be forgiven. We humans are not perfect people. We make mistakes in judgements and fall off the path many times over the course of our lives. But if you continue to build a strong relationship with God, through prayer and reading of His words; the answers and the knowledge you seek, you will most surely find. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you search for a new direction in honesty and following the Golden Rule.