Rainbowzz, LMO, EJ! This is also true for me, and I just witnessed the passing of my mother, caring for her in her final month here in my home. Mom was quite abusive to me while I was growing up, and even into college, when I'd return home, she was still hitting me, beating me over the head if I said something that ticked her off! I've had a massive inferiority complex all my life, gradually overcoming the impact of it all. Also, I attribute my dysfunctional relationships with men to her influence. I am alone today, and probably will remain so.
As she aged and became fragile, she wanted a close and loving relationship with me, but I couldn't respond in that way to her, nor visit as often as she would have liked. But when she was diagnosed with terminal cancer, I brought her here to my home, and cared for her lovingly. While she was still in the hospital and staying there with her, attending to her needs, she asked me, "How did you get to be this way?" I answered, "It's my nature, Mom." (I didn't get it from her, that's for sure!)

As a parent myself, I never once hit my daughter, nor ever abused her in any way. I was determined to be a different kind of parent, and as a result, my daughter and I have a loving relationship.

I guess I'm happy that I was strong enough to show love and care for my mother in her final days. I think about her good qualities now...very intelligent woman whose upbringing was harsh and the victim of abuse herself. I even miss her now, and no longer feel the effects of the bad memories.

Love
Patty