Now I know I'm not FAT. I sure FEEL fat though. I'm 5'7 150lbs. I just had 3 babies back to back, my oldest is 2.5, my youngest is 8 months. So I should probably be giving myself a little leeway. But it's HARD. I feel like a disgusting cow. Before I got pregnant the first time, I was a Jrs size 3/5. Now? Ugh...

I feel completely irrational about my weight. I can't be intimate with my husband because I feel so disgusting. I won't change clothes in front of him.

I eat a lot of food. Bad food. Well, GOOD food but it's bad FOR me LOL! I eat 3-4 Otis Spunkmeyer Chocolate Chocolate Chip muffins per day. I am a very picky eater. I also don't have a lot of time to try to cook healthy meals with taking care of all the kids practically by myself (my husband works approx 100 hours per week).

I don't feel like I can change my lifestyle/eating habits. I feel like there's got to be a different way. I *DID* join the YMCA but I know it's only a matter of time before I quit going. Plus exercising isn't going to help if I'm still consuming upwards of 3500 calories, 100 grams of fat per day.

So I'm looking at different ways... water pills... laxatives.... and I'm having a hard HARD time not taking them to try to lose weight that way...... anything, anything to lose weight.......

I dunno... it's not going to happen anyways..... Iknow I'll never lose the weight....... I am just scared.