I'm losing it. Officially losing it. I just looked in the mirror and said "go kill yourself."
I felt horror at that. I feel horrified that I'd think it or say it.
I need to get a grip on reality, but I'm not finding it right now. I'm dizzy, nauseated, my head is pounding, my heart is going so fast my tracker can't measure. It says E-1, meaning it's above 350. Vision is blurry.
I haven't done anything destructive other than have that horrible thought, but I felt physically BAD before, but not for long.
I don't like this