I am getting so tired of my mother completely disregarding my pain. Just now, she wanted me to sign a birthday card (for her friend) and I asked her for a pen, because it wasn't where it normally is. She said "then it's in my purse" which I commented about being closer to her, with a bit of annoyance. She got onto me about my "tone" and I just said I'm in pain and that's why I didn't want to have to go out of my way to get her purse when she could reach it. Her response, "enough already!"

I really hoped that being scheduled for surgery would convince her that there is actually something going on and I am actually in a lot of pain, but apparently not. Yet again, it's all about her. In the past, she's commented that she's in pain too. The thing is, she gets to lie around all day and take Norco, both of which are not options for me. All day today, she left her room once, only because I took a nap, because I was hurting so much I couldn't do it. Everything else she needed, I had to get her. She has actually said in the past if she could figure out a way that I could go to the restroom for her, she would do it. That is how lazy she is.

Telling her I'm in pain only makes things worse, but then not doing things the instant she tells me too is also a bad thing. I can't win. Nothing I do is ever good enough, and even good reasons why I am waiting aren't good enough. I have to do the cooking, the dishes, the trash, the laundry, but then God forbid I need to sit or lie down for bit because I am hurting so bad I can't breathe.