Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna
See, you could have stopped right there, decide no more "shoulding" on yourself. Instead of calling it some kind of transference, cuz that just muddles it and loses track of an action you could take. You dont have to figure ANYTHING out to the end in order to decide to stop shoulding.
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MC has commented on the "should" thing numerous times. Like sometimes he'll stop me in the middle of a sentence if I'm like, "But I feel like I should be doing..." or "I shouldn't be feeling..." It's gotten so that, at least in there, I can often catch myself in the middle of saying it.
I'm pretty sure it comes from my mom, because she has this image of how people "should" be, so I was expected to live up to that. And I fear falling short of people's expectations. Or of being screwed up. Like "No normal person would feel x..." But figuring out where it comes from and actually being able to change those thoughts are two different things. I guess it comes back to the whole modifying the schemas thing that MC talks about, how that can happen in therapy and through...wait for it...transference.