Im just tired of wearing size 15 jeans. That's embarrassing!!! And its not just my jeans. I have to wear a larger shirt because i have a belly. Im so embarrassed and disgusted by myself. Especially to see people smaller than me. Im always looking at other women and comparing me to them. Seems like most other women are smaller than me.

But i find it sad how people think im wanting to lose weight for men's attention. Im ACTUALLY doing it because i want to be THIN and fit into nice clothes, not have to goto the plus size section, plus PICTURES! Ahhh omg i wanna look good in pictures WITHOUT doing the funny camera angles on my face and body to look thin.

It doesnt help that i have eating disordered tendencies due to my mom calling me a fat pig and telling me ill get diabetes all the time, asking me everyday what ive eaten for breakfast, lunch and dinner. And her making me log my food.