Nothing improved since my first post. I have ran in circles, chasing my tail.

Because I kept going to different therapists, I got varying diagnoses. Then it was ME who read everything I could and approached the therapists with the question about 'do I have BPD?'. So, some said 'no', some said 'maybe', some said 'traits', and I have obsessed about this, driving myself even more crazy.

But, the bottom line is I have a horrible intimate relationship with my husband. It never got any better because neither of us changed or compromised or gave in.

I just can't stand him and need to get myself out.

Instead, I am wishy-washy, verbally abusive to him, physically abusive to myself- and yes, exhibiting all the traits of BPD!

He is steadfast. He's a inactive person, who turns on the TV and spaces out. He will NEVER initiate sex with me the way that I want it. I will become angry and my mood become disordered forever, coping with this man!

Today, I am taking one step in the right direction towards leaving him. Tomorrow, I will take another...